Month: February 2009

Trying Something New

HondaiMood: Okay
Listening to: Cherish – AZU
Eating: Dinner, soon 🙂
Reading: 101 Japanese Idioms
Working on: Studying for Math test
Browsing: JPA
Watching: Clannad ep 8

I’m feeling much better after all that stress. By better, I mean much better. Thanks for the encouragement everyone. 🙂

I’m bored of my old routines and they remind me of sad and unpleasant thoughts. I need a break. So to make myself better, I’m going to try do unusual things. Sleep early, wake up early. Eat breakfast everyday, eat lunch everyday. Practice the piano everyday. Read a book everyday, watch anime everyday, read manga everyday. I’m going to try have a conversation with someone everyday. Go outside everyday. Take a walk whenever I can! Be inspirational~!

I figured that if I try to stay active everyday, I’ll get less easily tired. You think that would work? If my fortune said that this will be my best year yet so far, I’ll make it my best year! >_< I’m tired of handling other people’s problems *cough cough Ampy cough cough*, so I’ll take a little break from that now. Would that be a little selfish? I’m the only person she can talk things about…. I guess I’m lucky I have you guys. But what I need to stop thinking about things to much and start getting my body moving! I believe that that’s the kind of break I need!

Ps. I had a sweet dream the night before. “OH yes! 俺を走らせる~”♥ ^0^/ (and Hondai sings NEWS’s summer time when it’s snowing outside. XD)|||||

Just cant get away

HondaiMood: tired
Listening to: I・ZA・NA・I・ZU・KI – NewS
Eating: –
Reading: –
Working on: –
Browsing: –
Watching: Clannad ep 3

Sorry this blog is kinda stressful. T_T I need to get atleast one of my stresses out of my system

Everything is building up that I nearly can’t take it anymore, school stress, family stress, money stress, friend stress, and the fact that I’m still stuck in my 17 year old blues. I don’t want anything bad to happen to my family, realizing how bad the situation is, I don’t want to complain. I want to offer a helping hand as much as I can.

My parents are almost at retiring age but imagine them doing labor work. It’s so painful to see!!! They are suppose to be the owners, their job is suppose to sit back, make sure everything is running right, and invest in whatever the shop needs. But because of the bad economy, we barely sell something for $7 an hour. Minimum wage here is even more than $7!!! Not to mention tax, food cost, rent cost, franchise tax and whatever else we have to pay for.

Well, I know they are doing this for us and they want us to pay attention to studying. But I can’t concentrate, thinking about how tired my parents must be. Just me working one whole day (around 10 hours non-stop). I’m only 17 and I get so tired. And they work almost 7 days a week?

I get tired. Both mentally and physically. I want to be stronger and stronger at both things. I want to be smarter, so I don’t have to spend as much time studying. I want to be stronger, so I don’t have to get so tired after working for a day. The only thing I have in me is willpower. That isn’t so bad I guess.

I feel like I really can’t get away from all this overly stressful things floating around me. I’m hoping tomorrow will be a good day for us all. So I can go back to falling asleep peacefully with sweet dreams about people I hold so dearly in my heart.|||||

Sing it all out

HondaiMood: Lazy
Listening to: Eien – BoA
Eating: –
Reading: –
Working on: –
Browsing: –
Watching: BoA on Music Station

Today was such a … o_o boring day? I woke up at 9, browse the internet a little then I got bored. Still stuck in my blues, I decided to sing. I wanted to sing something that’s hard and challenging for me, so I sang Tamaki Nami’s Realize. For some people that song might be easy, but it’s hard for me! (actually singing everything is hard for me!) I’m not talented at things like my sister. I still did okay. It was fun singing my lungs out. I didn’t convert it into MP3 or post it anywhere though. ): Sorry for those who want to atleast hear it. Next time.

Anyway, I still can’t defeat FF III on the DS. I’m on the last stage where we’re suppose to defeat Xande. Xande was hella easy but the stupid dark cloud just kills me. I can’t do it!!! x_x After being defeated by the stupid cloud 3 times. I fell asleep… and slept for another 5 hours. I woke up at 5… Man, my day just went by like that.

I did saw something that atleast made me laugh today, Tegoshi makes me laugh. Hahaha, I wasn’t even look up anything related to him but he still has to appear? The sky really is trying to cheer me up.

Actually I was looking up BoA’s new song Eien on J-pop asia. Then I got carious of what songs she released last year. Then I clicked on Kissing You. The video was the Live on Music Station. The first person I saw wasn’t BoA, but a young guy with bleached hair sitting in the background waiting for his turn to sing. ♥ A screen shot of it. 😀. I was like o_O It’s NEWS! I really like the song that BoA sang! I really want it now. I wish I could be there to sing that song for Tegoshi. It’s cute! 😀 My singing talent is no where near pro though. DAM. Hahaha~

I think the guy who’s sitting next to Yamapi is SEAMO. o_O Someone correct me if I’m wrong. Maybe NEWS was there to sing for Summer Time. XD Funny, SEAMO wrote a song for their next singing later that year. Hahaha. I love SEAMO songs though~ |||||


HondaiMood: anxious
Listening to: White Light – Amuro Namie
Eating: Dad’s Birthday Cake. 🙂
Reading: –
Working on: SachiSaki Drawing
Browsing: DA
Watching: –

Walking down a foggy path, heading toward that faraway shut door, so faraway that you can’t even see it, but you are sure one day you’ll make to that door. On the way, hoping to pick up the right key to open that door. Then open that destiny you hoped, yearned, and waited for so long.

That’s what I feel right now, it’s strange. I feel like I waiting for something that will be coming in around 2-3 years. What am I waiting for? Is it something I should be waiting for? Or should I be heading toward it?I’m afraid of reaching adulthood just because I will be missing my childhood. Right now I’m supposedly in the so called ‘青春’ (Seishun) period of my life. I hate that word. It has nothing to do with me. Everyone complains about high school drama, I have no drama to complain about. My life is blah, eh, geh, so boring~ I’m alone 70% of the time of my week. Sounds lonely doesn’t it. 

It’s not like I hate the moment right now though. I like it in fact, I’m just sad that my childhood, Seishun-hood was so short. The youngest in the family yet I have to grow-up the quickest in the family. I feel like it’s unfair sometimes. Like how I had to start working when I was 14. Comparing to what my brother was doing when he was 14.

I can’t wait until spring! I want to spring out of this Blues!|||||