old Journal & 今

I wish I still write written journals. Technically I do every once and awhile on my red mini journal, but that one is, holy shit, the most honest thing I’ve written ever.

Well, looking at my old journal entries, I find many things interesting and I have many questions about it too..

1. why was I such a bitter person? I lack self confidence big time it seems.
2. WOW my English. I wasn’t even writing complete sentences and my tenses were horrible! Its quite interesting to see how much my English has improved in the past 8 years. Trust me… it has A LOT
3. I wasn’t even daring enough to write about my crush in my journal. How lame of me. I constantly write about how I waved hi at him in the hallways. Haa,
4. I found truth, dare, kisses or promises the dumbest game ever. Funny thing is, that game is what got my current relationship fueled and started.
5. I was still in love with my 初恋. I started remembering how heart broken I was when my first love broke up with me. ): I think I sulked for years.

I realized how much I’ve grown since then. I’m such a strong person now, in love, confident, happy… I know what I like and what I want to do. I’m not too shy to talk to classmates, better yet, I’ve become the person who encourages shy classmates to talk to me. There are just so many things that I’ve change.. and they’re good changes.

Today in Japanese class 先生 asked, 誰か今、勉強以外に一生懸命していることがあるのか？I raised my hand and said 今、一生懸命いい人になりたい！ Many thought it was a joke but I’m being serious. Its been, pretty much, my new years resolution years after year. I think each year, little by little, I accomplish something. I like that.

Talking about journals, I’ve been neglecting writing them.. Online or on paper. I think its because writing on my Hoshiru blog felt like a hassle, also, I didn’t have much time for myself. This quarter though I’ve learn to find time for myself. I want to go back to documenting my life. So many good things have been happening lately and I don’t want them to be forgotten. There are little things I want to remember, even if they are daily things. I’ve come to realize that, the daily things are the things we tend to fail to document the most. If I were to put my day today in simple terms..

I went to school, first class was at 8:30 in the morning.. LING 233 with Betsy Evans. Today she started lecturing lecture 5 I believe.. she mentioned many regional vowl shifts.　特にNorthern cities shift and southern shift. She screwed up her powerpoint slides but oh well.

After LING class I usually have an hour break before Japanese class. During that half an hour I ended up running around campus just to print my Japanese 作文の下書き.. I was also stressing out so much because I didn’t get to study for my Kanji Quiz as much as I could. Also the fact that in Odegaard 2nd floor you got these people talking LoL VERY loud. I would love to join in the conversation if they didn’t sound so retarded… oh and if I wasn’t TRYING TO STUDY.

Japanese class was quite fine.. Though I usually sit next to Brandon, I partner up with Joe-san today. I guess I’m quite happy about that because if I partner up with Brandon all the time I feel like we don’t get to meet new people… or me atleast ;D cuz Brandon always partners up with either me or his friend Okada-san. lol

-Lunch は長い話だ-

After lunch I went to see Max at the CSP. I’m glad that out of all days, today everyone was there. The reason why I’m glad is because I went to see Max quite late today so, at least I feel like he had something fun/worth doing at the CSP. Then Max and I hung out like how we typically do. We went to the Park and scared some ducks off for fun, we took a walk along the river side… y’know.. park stuff. After the park we went to eat at our typical Maxican restaurant! I’ve been meaning to try spinach stuffed enchiladas all this time, finally today I’ve got the ‘balls’ to try it and I didn’t regret it! Next time I’ll get a better sauce though.

After dinner with Max we went to Max’s house„ seems like the people who were installing Max’s house’s sprinklers weren’t done yet. Max’s mom seems quite stressed out about it too. She said to me “I wish I never done this”. I felt kinda bad for her but.. I’m sure she’ll be happy about it later on. But then anyways.. At Max’s house what I mostly did is cuddle with Max in his bed. >_< probably one of the best & relaxing things in life right now.. cuddling with Max. Ahh~ Its always so relaxing I fall asleep. ALWAYS.

Anyways.. enough of that. I am getting quite sleepy/tired. Thank god tomorrow is Tuesday, which means that I can get to school slightly later that I usually have to 😀

[edit Hoshiru edition]: There are so many blog entries I didn’t post on here )x Like my Sakura-con entry and Winter Quarter entries. Arg. 

well bed time for me, good night.