Dear you,

There’s so much I want to tell you but I don’t know where to start. Hmm… How about we start with this question, what is love? If you try to look it up, I think you’ll get a lot of answers. I think I finally realize that the word ‘love’ is similar to the word ‘important’. Although we all know what it means, it’s still different for all of us.

So, how many times have you fallen in love? I think for me it’s twice.

The first time I fell in love, I was 19. From the very first time we met, it felt like we’ve known each other for a very long time. All the things we liked and our personalities clicked as if we were a match made in heaven. Every moment I spent with him filled me with so much joy I’ve never felt before. I wanted to believe that he was my soulmate but time was never on our side. We were never meant to be.

Then comes the second time I fell in love, I was 21. This time around, instead of the string of fate pulling us towards each other, it felt more like a choice. I made the choice to love this person with all my heart. I was willing to give this person my world– my everything and I did. I cared so deeply for him and chose to believe in him despite everything he did to me. But after time went by, I realized that this was a choice I made. I didn’t have to continue to put myself through all this pain. A choice meant I could choose. So I chose to stop it all.

Now comes us. We haven’t met and I have no idea what you’re like. But I want to believe that you’re out there, doing your best through the happy and the sad times. I can already see that you are very hard working. And although you’ll never say it yourself, you have the most beautiful smile in the world. You never made me feel insecure because just by looking at you I could see that those eyes only see me. You know what it means to put your own happiness first without being selfish. And although we get on each other’s nerves from time to time, we’ll still laugh about it because it wasn’t something to be upset about to begin with. We’ll go through happy times together. Sad times together. Boring days together. Fun days together. Whatever it is, we’ll be doing it together.

As of right now, I can’t imagine falling in love. Honestly, I don’t think I’m ready to be in love again. But I know I’ll be ready again the day I meet you.

Until the day we meet, do your best. You are strong and you got this.


June 2024

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