HondaiMood: Meloncholic
Listening to: いえない -RADWIMPS
Playing: –
Craving: Sundubu Jjigae
Watching: Meitantei Conan!

I’m a terrible friend. Today, I was looking through my messages and I saw a message from my old friend wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving. That wasn’t the only message he sends me, he would always ask how I’m doing and what I’ve been up to. It’s not like I wasn’t on my phone at all during the weekend, I just simply put the message aside because there are things that I am more interested in happening during the weekend, so pretty much I ignored his message.

This is not the only time I’ve done things like this. I’ve done worse things like standing people up who came to visit me from another state simply because I was so caught up with other things that aren’t as important. I don’t deserve even calling them my friend anymore because I can’t even recall doing anything for them in return. But even now, they still treat me so kindly and it makes me sad. Makes me extremely sad that I did not cherish these people when it mattered. Now that I’m getting more engage with my newer friends, I am terrified that in the future I’ll be doing the same to them.

Maybe all of this is part of maturity.
Maybe I was just too young to understand how little things can make a huge impact on how people feel.
Can I believe in myself that I’ve changed since? I mean, I did ignored my friend this weekend…but I did bounce back by sending him a belated message in return.

This is why I’m thankful for all the friends who still keep trying. I don’t deserve you, but I hope you’ll still continue to give me a chance to act like a friend that you deserve.

Bottled up Frustrations

HondaiMood: Frustrated
Listening to: 拝啓グッバイさようなら – DAOKO
Playing: Beat EVO YG
Craving: Sundubu Jjigae
Watching: Ai Yori Aoshi: Enishi

To be honest, I dread one of my classes in college right now mostly because I feel like it requires too much (graded) work for the amount of credits. This is a 2 credit class, and I spend just as much, if not more time in this class than my 5 credit class. Now in terms of money per credit value, you can argue that, “well at least you’re getting more for what you paid for”, true. But I honestly don’t have time for it. While I understand that there must be a lot the professor wants to share, I cant agree with the amount of work load he puts on us. It’s quite inconsiderate of his student’s time because if someone signs up for a 2 credit class, they’re expecting a 2 credit workload. But instead I’m spending over 4 hours per assignment in this class, 2 hour lecture and I’m expected to go out of my way for a (pre-approved) Social Networking event…. that are usually during my work hours. I mean, it’s helpful and all but ugh.. just ugh.

Another complaint I have for the class is that the description is deceiving. The class title is “Careers in IT” and here is what it says

“This course provides an overview of careers in the computer field: the types of positions, job functions, salaries, expectations, requirements, skills, and abilities necessary for successful employment. Students assess their career objectives, including a timetable, resources, and steps needed to achieve those objectives. Students also prepare for technical interviews, develop their job search materials, and expand their professional network. This course is suitable for those exploring possibilities in IT as well as those preparing to launch a job search”

So far seven weeks into class, we’ve mostly did a lot of self evaluations and how to create a business card, resume, and cover letter. I was hoping more of a class that will open my horizon as to what the tech industry is all about. And how I should expect my entry level work to be like, what’s it like climbing up the career ladder, etc. I was hoping that our professor can bring in some real life examples so we can actually know. My college advertises that we have plenty of employers in the area that hire tech graduates, and I was kinda hoping they would dig more into what that’s all about. The biggest problem for most college students is that they’re expected to pick a major and spend the next 2-4 years of their life studying for it By the time you are 3 or 4 years in, you start questioning yourself…

Is this what I really want to do?
What kind of jobs can I even get with my degree?
Maybe I’m not cut out for this industry..

And so on…. I’ve asked myself these questions very often during my time in University and I know so many people out there who are the same way. Which comes to my point about this class, I was hoping this class would help clear out that cloud floating over head… but it hasn’t.

Though, not to say I haven’t learned anything in the class. I learned a lot of tips about networking and especially using LinkedIn as a tool to stay connected with your networks. Also, I love the idea that this class is required. I just really wish the class was executed differently because it could have been sooo much better and sooo useful to many new college students.

Anyways, I just wanted to let that frustration out of my system in writing… I’ll continue to remind myself that this is what I decided to do and I’ll do my best at it to the very send.


Osu! I did it!!!

HondaiMood: Hyped!
Listening to: Silhouette – KANA-BOON
Craving: Sundubu Jjigae
Watching: Ai Yori Aoshi

YEAH! You guessed it!! I made it to 2k PP on osu last night!! I don’t know if you guys know how happy I am about this but, I remember clearly that 2k seemed almost impossible a year ago but look at me now ! ☆*: .。. o(≧▽≦)o .。.:*☆

Exactly a year ago today, I didn’t know jack about osu. I would just play the same 10 songs I had in my library for years and I was satisfied with it. Not to mention I played with just my mouse… it was ridiculous. I’m not sure why I suddenly decided that I wanted to take the game more seriously. I wanted to challenge myself to get better.

I’m actually pretty obsessive with osu. Every time I finish playing for the day I would use Mikuia to track my progress and manually enter the data into a table to graph it.

my PP graph as of today

As you can see I played the most around summer. I took a huge break during September and did a final push in October. It takes dedication to manually track all this. I was going to stop once I reached my annual goal but.. I have it set up already, why stop right? It’ll be fun to see the graph continue for another year.

I don’t know why I’m so obsess with osu in this way. I guess… a part of me just wanted to prove to myself that I, too, can be good at a game. I surround myself with competitive gamers and I felt like I was being left behind because I didn’t have the time to ‘get better’ at these games. In truth, I could have spend my time to get better at games like League, Overwatch, etc. but the reality is that I’ve lost my interest in those games a long time ago.

To be honest, at the level I am at right now, I can’t call myself good at this game. If I compare myself to people who actually play this game a lot, I have a long way before I can call myself good. But that doesn’t matter right now. Right now, I just want to give myself a pat in the back for actually setting a goal, sticking to it and accomplishing it.

my stats pulled from my osu profile.

icon credit: mixordia.livejournal

Twitch Con 2017: Landing, Day 1 & Sugar Fam Meetup

HondaiMood: Lazy
Listening to: Forget Me Not – 
Playing: Beat EVO YG
Craving: Sundubu Jjigae
Watching: Ai Yori Aoshi

October 20-22 was the weekend for Twitch Con 2017 in Long Beach, CA. This is Twitch’s 3rd annual convention but my first time there. I met so many awesome people in the past year through Twitch so when the event was announced, I knew right away that I wanted to go.

My journey to TC started on Thursday the 19th. Since I had limited time off available from work I scheduled my flight at 8:30 PM and I didn’t land in LAX until 11:50 PM. Of course, before I even fly, I had an extremely long day at work (10 hour shift to make up the hours). With that said, my physical exhaustion was the least of my worries.. I spent all day being nervous about meeting “new” people. Well technically I’ve known these “new” people for several months, but of course, face to face interaction is definitely different from online interaction. I tried to stay positive but my anxiety kept circling back. “what if I’m too weird for them?” “what if they’re not as excited to meet me as I am to meet them?” “what if I’m boring?” “what if..what if…”. I’m sure many of us who has social anxiety goes through something similar, it’s not fun. But the moment I landed and met Dana (sugarcoatedkiss), I screamed, we hugged, all of the negative thoughts and anxiety went away.

That Thursday night Dana wasn’t the only one I met, I also met Luis (Dana’s BF) and Lysee (streamer & follow mod) for the first time. I was literally shaking in excitement (which was kinda embarrassing). We did some gift exchanges and hung out in the hotel. It’s super awesome to finally meet Dana and Lysee because not only that these two are my 2 favorite streamers on Twitch, but we also became very good friends! I am so glad we get along just as well, if not better than we do online. It seriously was such a relief.

Dana’s cute packaging and inside was the Doraemon Funko pop! Then from Lysee is the cutest sticker pack ever!

After several hours of hanging out in their hotel room, I returned to my air BnB in San Pedro. This is actually my first experience with AirBnB and it was actually very pleasant! The location was in a decent place and the inside was lovely. Since by the time I arrived at the Air BnB it was around 3 AM, everyone I was staying with was already asleep. I took a shower, and knocked out in my bed almost right away.

My bed at the Air BnB

Friday morning is the official first day of TC. I decided to take it easy this morning because I had such a long day yesterday. We, my house mates, all got ready and head out right around noon to grab some food then to the convention.

Only a few moments after walking into the expo hall, I lost the gang right away. The signal was terrible inside the expo hall so it was obvious that I wouldn’t be able to find the gang any time soon. I decided to just explore the expo solo, which ended up not being such a bad idea because I didn’t really have time to do that later in the weekend.

After one round around the expo hall I thought I should try get in touch with people to see what’s everyone up to. Then I finally reached Dana saying that she’s at the meet and greet section so I went to find her. Fortunately it was also TSM_TheOddOne’s meet and greet time so I went in line for his. Dana waited in line with me and also took Pictures for me (TY Dana) I’ve met TheOddOne before, but I never actually got the chance to chat with him. We had a pretty nice chat about Fire Emblem and he signed my badge + his meet and greet card. He was super nice!!

After Luis and I were done with the meetups, it was about time for us to go to the Sugar Fam meet up that’s happening at Yard House. The wait for Yard House ended up being pretty long but I didn’t mind it because we spent it chatting. Everyone was so nice and friendly, I really wish we all lived closer to each other so we can get together like this more often. When we finally got seated, it was hard to talk to everyone because the table was so huge. I wasn’t feeling so hungry so I ordered the clam chowder, which ended up being pretty good. The most memorable thing at Yard House, though, was probably when I was writing my tweet to TheOddOne. Lysee and Dana were proof reading my tweet. We were all trying to leave a big enough impression that he would retweet it👌🏻 We were literally laughing our asses off while we try to come up with the perfect tweet. Sadly we didn’t get that retweet but at least he liked it!!

After dinner we decided to walk around the pier near by. There were a ton of interesting shops there. Then by the end of all of it we took a group photo and part ways. I sure hope we all get to meet again.

Lovely sugar fam!! This was just half of those who show up but I love this picture to death <3