Love

Wishing I could erase the past

The more I start to form romantic feelings for someone, the more pain I feel. I’m scared.

I’m not sure if I’m ready to welcome anyone into my heart. The scars that I carry aren’t healed. The real question is, will they ever heal? These days when I think about the possibility of being in a relationship with someone, I’m terrified of what I would do. Will I be able to feel happy? Will I be able to trust? Will I be able to treat them right? Will they find out about my past? How much about it will I let them know? How much should I let them know? If I hide it, would that mean I don’t trust them? But I wouldn’t want dump all this baggage on them. So this is when I wish I could just erase it all. I wish a lot of the things never happened. I wish I wasn’t so broken. If they knew how broken I was, will they still be able to love me?

September 2022
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