Hard To Say

HondaiMood: unsure
Listening to: Eyes, Nose, Lips – TaeYang
Playing: osu
Craving: Tofu Soup
Watching: Late Night w/ Lysee

I haven’t written an update on my life for awhile. So many backlogs from May & June that I really don’t feel like finishing because it’s just too painful to even think about what I was trying to say in them. I don’t even know what the point of this post is but oh well, just wing it: Hondai style.

Honestly, my mood recently has been in it’s ups and down. I’ve been meeting great people, finding a new part of me, while rediscovering a part of myself that I love. But every time I hit a high of happiness, something blocks me from believing that I am truly happy. Then again, what is true happiness even? Is it something I get when I find my dream job? When the person I’ve given up so much for finally returns the favor? When I’m finally free from any emotional obligations? Even god doesn’t know. Someone told me that “happiness is something you choose“.. if this is the case then does that mean I am constantly choosing to be unhappy? I think I’m just going to do what makes me happy right now.

I think I found a little place where I don’t have to worry about my stupid little problems. I’m going to cherish it as long as I can.