And so, it’s December

I really don’t know what to write on Hoshiru these days but at the same time I also have a lot to talk about. I didn’t realize though that I have a handful of people who keep up with me this way. For those who mentioned to me that you read my blog and that you miss me, thank you. I didn’t realize how great of a feeling it would be to have someone tell me that they miss me. Like, actually miss me.

So how have I been these days? I’ve been great actually. The past few months I’ve been busy studying for several tests. One was for EIKEN which is an English test in Japan. The other is JLPT. For both of these tests I took the highest level 一級.

I took EIKEN for my work. Since we teach students who must take the EIKEN, our company enroll us into the testing to ensure that we can go through what the students do, and also to be the subject matter expert. As a native English speaker, you’d expect the test to be easy. Of course I passed both the written and speaking test with high scores, but it definitely wasn’t easy. I actually spend time studying for it because I realized how much I haven’t advanced in my reading, vocabulary AND writing skills. I feel a little sad that I haven’t been reading as much as I used to and that my writing skill definitely hasn’t improved at all in years. I actually really enjoy writing, which is probably why I’ve been keeping a blog. Although I don’t write on here often, I actually keep a personal journal and I write on there a lot. I don’t think I mention this to people often but, when I was in high school I actually aspired to be a screen writer because of how much I enjoyed watching anime and Japanese dramas. Although I don’t aspire to become one anymore, I still want to improve my writing skills. Self improvement is the best thing you can do as part of loving yourself, isn’t it?

Of course the most recent test I took is the JLPT, which is the Japanese Language Proficiency Test. This year I took the N1 level, which is the highest level. I was lucky to pass N2 on my first try last year. Honestly passing N2 was very unexpected because I had no time to study last year. When I DID have time to study, I would study N3 Kanji because it was my weakest part in my Japanese. As for N1, I was busy studying for EIKEN because I studied for JLPT. Honestly, I was kinda upset that I didn’t have time to study for the JLPT this year too because I was busy studying for EIKEN. But I can’t possible score poorly on EIKEN right? Not only that it’ll be an embarrassment to my company, but to myself really. (now you might think people can’t possibly fail, but I’ve seen other people working in my position failing it so, I wasn’t about to join that gang!)

Well, I honestly don’t expect to pass N1 this year… There’s so much I still need to study for. But that doesn’t bring me down in anyway. I used to hate studying back when I was on college. But I think it was only because I didn’t understand the joy of learning. These days, learning is fun for me. It’s probably the thing I am the mot grateful for after becoming a teacher.

I think my current dream is to become a translator/localizer. I would be nice if I could work in an industry that I love, which is the publishing, gaming, anime, or entertainment industry. It might not be glamorous like my inner self imagine it to be, but what won’t change is my passion for it, right?

To be honest, I’m a little stuck as to what kind of career path I want to pursue. There are so many things I’m passionate about and also so many things I’m afraid of. Maybe I’m afraid to commit to one thing? Which is why I’ve been stuck here constantly staying at entry/mid level jobs even now when I’m turning 30 in a month? I use to feel bad about it, but now I can safely say that I don’t feel down in anyway at all that I’m still searching for what is for me at this age. It just means I’m living in my youth longer. It’ll get harder as I get older though. I think it’s about time I step out of my comfort zone and really go for it. Facing my fears and stop thinking about the fact that I’m not good enough for certain things.

I can do it.

I believe in myself.