At times like this

HondaiMood: feeling down
Listening to: Sekai ni Hitotsu dake no Hana – SMAP
Drinking: Hot water
Reading: Aishiteruze Baby (something like that)
Working on: WA 9 (ENG assignment)
Browsing: Deviant Art
Watching: Sekai no hate made itte Q!!

*sigh*?I’ve been feeling down lately. Unlike the in the past this year I was so optimistic and happy. What happened to me? Why am I so down again. I really don’t understand myself much lately. I feel like I’m crazy and sick (no perv sick) you know… It’s like I have some sort of disorder.

I feel like I want to fly out the window and go to a place full of people and sun shine. A place where I can say “Heya!” to someone random and they would say “Hi!” back. A place where I can shout the loudest I can without someone telling me “Shhh the neighbers will get angry”. A place where I can see strait away to the horizon. A place where I can run, run, run and run without being stoped by something. And when I get home, there would be someone there welcoming me home instead of staring at the computer screen. Better there would be someone who return home with me with a smile saying “Wasn’t that a fun day?”

I guess you can say I’m lonely. But when I go to see my friends at highschool… it makes me feel even more lonely. They’re all complaining about school and I’m here complaining about being lonely. Not so often I find school stuff over stressful. The stress usually goes away pretty quickly. But when it comes to people, it clings on to me too long.

It’s hard to make friends with people at a community college because the age difference and we don’t get to see each other much. I knew these two years would be lonely like this, I was ready for it. So I’ll keep staying optimistic and love the rain for 2 years. After that this rain will stop and the rainbow will come. For that beautiful rainbow, I can wait. 🙂

Blogging at Hoshiru always cheer me up. Yes! Hoshiru can cheers me up?better than you can Tegoshi!?Talking about Tegoshi O___O I forgot it’s his birthday!!! Ahhh ~ すみません、 私は日本語がうまく話せないんですでもがんばりました?

お21才誕生日おめでとうね手越君!^3^ 好きだよ。アメリカに21才は大人です。だから、もしも今手越君はアメリカでいる 手越君はかっこい大人ですよ! 私、手越君が好き。だから、手越君の幸せは私の幸せ。手越君の笑顔のままにお願いしますね。