On The Hunt

Ever since I’ve gotten home in Washington, I have been on the job hunt. I feel like any typical recent graduated millennial searching for a source of income. To some it up in the simplest way, I am having a hard time with it. With that said, I see my peers also complaining about the same thing. I know I should be concern for my peers but instead, I find myself sighing of relief when I hear that; is that a bad thing? It can’t hurt to feel a little happy to know that you aren’t the only one struggling. I guess the saying is true, misery loves company.

I’ve been thinking about my past a lot. I have set my eyes on a specific career since I started college and worked my way through it. Then for some reason, I started losing confidence in my ability and my passion. Since I’ve been working on websites since forever, I always thought I wanted to be a graphic designer/web designer. I slowly lost sight of it once I started learning more of the reality of that career path and my capabilities. I guess you can say I gave up on it, which makes me extremely sad. If you ask me now, “are you still interested in web designing?” my answer would be a straight  “yes!” But then again, I am still unsure of what my passion is.

Only recently I have been able to tell myself that everything will be okay, and it is okay take things slowly. Seriously though, what is the rush? Who am I trying to impress? Who am I trying to compete with? I made the mistake of jumping in conclusions and stubbornly pursuing something before in the past, and I really do not want to make that mistake again. I want to explore careers that I might never imagine doing. I remember working with Logistics before, which is something I would never imagine being interested in, but my thoughts of it in the end was that it was pretty interesting. It made me realize how much I’ve been limiting myself on what I like and do not like.

Besides the question of “what I do”, I also start considering the “where I do” as well. After my job in Elk Grove, I realize how important benefits and company culture is. The lack of work-life balance and voice in my workplace has put stress upon me beyond imagination. What’s important to me is to feel like I am doing something that matters and my family. I was definitely doing something that matters, but I absolutely did not have time to take care of myself or my family. The point I am making here is not that my previous workplace was bad, I was simply not a good fit with the type of job and the company culture. This made me realize how lucky I was that my first job was actually at a place where I fit well with their culture of “family values”. I feel so much more grateful now knowing that they cared about my well-being. I also feel a tiny bit regretful for leaving them.

Even with regrets, I am also glad that I decided to try something different. It gave me the courage to try various things. I’ve been applying for many types of job that I believe I am qualify for, and some that I feel like I might not be as qualify for. My aunt taught me something extremely important though, which is to always give it a try and let them be the one to decide weather you’re qualify for the job or not. I know that my degree is something that is not so demanded in the job market but I am starting to see it as a bless over a curse. It gives me flexibility to apply for different types of jobs without people questioning me “why?” I mean who knows, maybe they will, but probably not as much as other degrees that are more specific or high demand.

Good news is I’ve heard back from several places so far. Emails of rejections and some interviews. In fact, I have a phone interview tomorrow! I spent hours doing research and preparation. Wish me luck on that one!

Anyways, I really didn’t know what my goal was for this entry. I really just wanted to blabber about my current situation which pretty much THE HUNT. At this time what I really want is a source of income somewhere I don’t feel degrading and time to redefine myself so someone who can take on the real world on my own.

One Comment

  • Vijayata

    I agree with you. I used to think that life must have a goal, but now I myself believe that it’s one life you get and instead of thinking too much of what you ought to do, you should do what you want to do and live life as it comes. Ofcourse it’s good to dream but if you lose your peace of mind over it, it’s no fun. You should do web designing if you want to, not to prove anyone but because you want to. And also you should know dear that your friends will always believe in you and want what’s best for you. Good luck on finding a good job. 🙂

June 2024

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